Voice Message

"You have one new voice message.. Too listen to your voice message, please press 1."

Heart skips-- thinks-- wondering shud i?--presses 1-- Saves it.



So, as you guys may know by now.

Relationships are RARE for me.

But ya gurl is in love. How can I put this=/

I have known him for quite sometime now however false interactions and miscommunicated statements kept our love for eachother from growing. Life in general for me has been difficult to live and to have someone by my side has been even more a challenge because of my demanding ways. Presocietal expectations have allowed me not to believe in this idea called love and yet i find my self at its stoop once again....pouring out my heart. It's easy to say "I love you" but its harder to show it...Yes of course I done been in and out of jokes a.k.a relationships but I hope this one is sincere. I'm not known to keep someone close so this does feel weird and if writing this blog is going to make me feel better than so be it.

Rambling thoughts<3

"Don't hurt me because at the end, You will be hurting yourself"~him~

_chyll spoke

_until next time

122708

_Jokes (reposted)

_ I had wrote this a while back for facebook but decided to bring it to my fellow bloggers!!!!!!!

Reality coincides with perceptions. See, although we are classified under groups in society, the interrelations within people are not as pure as they once used to be. Technological advances has taken away from the purity of relationships with oneself as well as with others. With these new advances we encounter change. Changes within our community and personal relationships. So we then begin to question the concept of change and is it real? Who defines change and what it should be?

To touch on relationships...

How do you think these differences have affected the relationships you have with others?


Relationships are the common joke. They are now being started off of pure vulnerability and dependancy. Your dependant on that other person for several different reasons.In some cases we have people who are not as strong as they think they are so they depend on others to complete them. In other cases we have those people who like to have someone that they can control and is submissive to there needs. So we ask, What is a pure relationship and if so when does it become pure?

Short term relationships turning into marriages!
Long term relationships turning into violence!

"Babe I can't express my feelings to you so I want you to lissen to this song and that is how I feel now can we go have fun....It's all on you right?"Here we clearly view dependancy on technology to express emotion as well as having that person feel as though they are treating you well by spoiling them.

Being in love is true....Words are worthless when actions are at maximum loudness. So to show ones love show it then say it. And when in love people change for the better of the relationship. They will do things that they thought they would never do! They begin to realize that this person is for them excluding everything that comes with them(as far as money) and including everything that was already there.

People break-up usually because of their own insecurities allowing them not to trust you.
People break-up because it was not meant to be.
People break-up because of deciet (if spelled wrong "no gill")

In this life nothing is appreciated...so begin to appreaciate those close to you wether it be family or a spouse. Realize the little things they do and compliment them for it.

rambling thoughts of the day!!!

P.s- The definition of dating needs to cleared out....People date to get to know other people wether it be dating several people at once etc.

IT IS NETWORKING PEOPLE!!!
Love you guyz!!!

_Live your Life

_ Isn't amazing when you feel loved? When you make up with old friends? When life seems to be dealing the right cards for you???? Pretty soon we will be in a new year and no i'm not going to tell you my new years resolution because I don't have one!!!! For what? I'mma be doing the same shyt I was doing this year, next year: volleyball.parties.work.school!!!!! Things are definitely going to change (Obama 08)but I do not know what those are yet so I can't call it before the year has begun. The only thing I can aspire for is good health and wealth for the many years too come!!!!! Yet this is the eighth year without seeing my pops....=/ Be grateful for what you have guys cause sooner or later they may not be here any more!!!!!!! I love you DaDDy hope to see you soon (spring break action)

_Live your life!!!!

_Hair Down!!!!!!!!

_wtf is goin on here!!!!


This is ridiculous...they prolly have kids to go too!!!!lol.smh.

You be the judge of that one!!!

_A TREE ISN'T THE ONLY THING GROWING IN BROOKLYN

_MTV is finally going to give the people of America what they want!!!!!! The Real World is coming down to Brooklyn to air its 21st season (surprisingly). Are not you excited???? Having such a diversified lifestyle and inevitable reality, Brooklyn will surely make shyt hit the fan on this season of The Real World. The cast is feeding the the viewers their personalities ranging from a virgin Mormon to a tanning fiend (figures). Contributing to the chaos Brooklyn already has to offer once you cross over that bridge, the cast will show the beauty of our borough to millions of people across the nation!!!!!!

_Wondering where they are going to reside?????......... RED HOOK

_ That kind of took me for surprise just because even Brooklyn people forget about red hook ....I was leaning towards more of the NORTH SIDE/WILLIAMSBURG area or to spark the reality of how rude BROOKLYN people can be the heart of it all EAST NEW YORK......Sadly its in red hook in newly renovated lofts that have not had too much residency but was filmed in the movie Hitch....So i guess that's fine!!!

_Filming has said to have already begun in Sept of 08'......

_Shyt is about to get real crazy!!! Wonder what City Councilman Charles Barron has pre-planned for incidents that are surely going to occur?????

_stay tuned

_chyll<3

_the smile

_so the other half of me had a birthday on the 13th.



In essence

with random styling and cute dresses

your smile is what brightens

our friendship

from dislikes to shoulder cries

you have shown me the beauty in life

despite those who have tried

our friendship has never seen a part

as clumsy and dittsy as you are

you prevent me from steppin on the cracks

of this hood that fed us its heart

and in essence we grew closer

turning pitty into prime

you've learned how to keep your head up

and at times stay alive

when the creases in your face

say "tash....but im confused"

im right by your side saying

"chyll i got you"









_happy birthday to my bestfriend, my sister JAMMI

_Is Graffiti the New Social Life?

_Since when everyone is a graffiti artist?

Before I went to class today as I always do I look at current news that is going on back at home in BROOKLYN and unexpectedly there was an article about the Brooklyn Museum and Graffiti Art. With recent negative talk about Graffiti and it becoming a social aspect in this generation while back in the 70's and 80's it was hard to express your art through aerosol cans because it was not accepted as much and everything was illegal....the question is posed Well has Graffiti become a social aspect in this generation? Has this taken away from the art of graffiti because there are artist who are coming out of no where saying they love graffiti and been doing it for years?

As an outsider I have always naively wondered how graffiti got into the underground cement walls of the train? How someones art could have been in the weirdest places yet so eloquently expressed. These unanswered questions were answered by a well known artist in East New York, Brooklyn who expresses his love for graffiti in his own neighborhood rather then branching out to places such as lower manhattan and broadway which are famous for first time graf artist to show what they got. While reading the article I sent him the link and he blatantly expressed that "he respected old heads like tracy and lady pink and all of them." However he proceeded to say" i dont respect that shit at all cuz they dont respect us." The article talks about Graffiti and the aspects it has in the social aspect of this generation, detailing the artist whose art is in the exhibition.

The question I ask myself is Does this graffiti art represent the art of those underground artist who have been doing this for years?

art.hw.thanks.bday.life.love.newz

_wow. I have not been here in a while which is a lil scary....that means i have been actually busting ass in the class room for once lol.....

_When I last made a quick appearance... I had a lot to talk about with thanksgiving break as well as newly found members in my life. Questions aroused as though I which forced me to step out of my shell and figure out what was going on.

........Thanksgiving Break could not have been better than what it was. I spent it with the people that have meant the most to me in the past year(family&friends) and GFT(newly found fam)!!!!!!!!

....My bday weekend I went to sneakyyy petes, my brother and his gurl came to my school to party etc. Had an od bday cake!!!!!! (WEEKEND WENT WELL)

.......In between the two I had been working hard handing in everything that I left for last minute like a dick head!!!! Im almost done tho!!!

......Current News:

1) WE ARE STILL IN A RECESSION.......why are people taking everyday things that are here today and may not be here tomorrow for granted!!!!!!!!!

2) Discrimination is still an issue in 2008 even though we have an African American President....do you believe that change can still occur with so much history underlying the actions that persist in today's generation?

_rambling thoughts!!!!

_hw time

_write to you all in a tomorrow before finals(lol)

_chyll till next time<3>

_NYC

so much to say so little time......be on sum time thru out the week

_stay tuned
_luvin the art.........

CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(listening to that song)

_ This past weekend was a blast with a newly found member in my life. The jokes,laughter,tears and warmth was amazing. Sometimes in life we look for things that do not really please us but satisfy us for that moment which causes us grief and confusion at the end because we do not know who to really feel for and our feelings and actions become fake. I have found myself doing this for years and i have came to the realization that not only do I have to live for myself and change what i can for the better but help change others through my individual transition. I want to be able to express my thoughts and opinion through the experiences that I have indulged.

_ On another note.....I AM FINALLY GOING HOME TO BROOKLYN..........(haven't been home since august bare with me)...I am not too open to going home though to see everyone because to many people are going to be expecting to see me and im only home for 5 days which is hard but imma try my hardest to see everyone!!!!!!

_(sidebar: i cooked my housemates bacon last week (lol) she was asking for it and i thought i was using the houses bacon awwwww jeeeeeezzzzz..........feelin a lil bad my fault..........)

_ Back to regular programming where my life is lost. My laptop is broke =(.......The battery gave up so now my mission is to get a mac and cheese...... I lost my keys for a good week and found them today in some jeans =).........and I need a new phone like asap......aiming for a blackberry (praying to god everynight man lol)


_till next time.....

_exhaustion =0

_Im extremely starved riight now.....

_Im so tired of everyone and the bullshyt that is posed. Im distraught and its causing extra exhaustion on my body and soul. Last night i cried myself to sleep. Woke up with sweaty dry eyes dizzier than i dont know what the fuck. Not to mention I have no money on my school card so my lazy ass doesn't eat because i do not want to get up go get suntin. Nothing appeals to me anymore.

_In the past week i went to a leadership conference got driddy at the hotel....and was accused of being laid up with sumeone(go figure). I got random phone calls from people who i have not spoken to in a long time(more than six months) which confused my thoughts.

_several weeks back my bestfriend mildred decided to try and work our friendship out. Not to mention she stopped talkin to me because of what someone else was saying (1month vs 5 years) ashame. Talking with her i realized there were more than just obvious issues but personal issues amongst other friends.....=0

_im just exhausted

_=0 nappin now brb tonight or tomorrow

O8AMA!!!!!!!!!

_Impossibility has become the lowest word in my vocabulary. This whole year has shown me that with guidance and a little bit or lets just say a lotta bit of push we as a community, a society, a nation have come together and voted for what was logical. Lets forget about race here for a sec!!!! Although race has played a huge role in this presidential election....I was able to see past that. To Better the nation and its economic standing it needs to begin with us and Obama has presented us with that promise. He has promised us that this won't be a fast and easy process. He has said that it will take time.....but with time and effort we will be able to achieve more than we thought amongst our nation....and this is what drives me towards him.

_He is now President of the UNITED STATES.....However there are still some people who are in disbelief.....those who voted for him but did not have any faith that he will WIN.....that needs to CHANGE.....and it begins with us. Obama speaks so that we understand.....so that people who are not as educated become educated by understanding him and his ideologies. He starts from the bottom and works his way up. He believes in us. Believes that we can change the nation with him. He not only is my President but my friend.

_ Barack Hussein Obama is the 44th President of the United States and I am more than jubilant that I had an opportunity to vote.....I was apart of a monumental change in history.....

_chyll spoke

_YES WE CAN!!!!!

_ So im scared for my life and the life of others at this point. I want to say that im not but I am. Tomorrow I am going to vote at 12:30. That is when I would be making the biggest decision of my life. A decision of change. One of great compromise and unity. I wanna say that either way we are safe but we are not. If Obama wins there will be a riot and if McCain wins there will be one too.
_Tomorrow we will see where the minds of the people in our nation stand when they vote.
_Choose to VOTE man.....please do!!!!!!!!!!



_chyll spoke
_(timid)

_Foundation

_wow. I havn't been here in a while which is kind of weird.I miss writing here but i have been busy with school and with the finishing of my season. Im just tired.

_On another note: "foundation"

_Growing up where i did has enabled me to have the mentality that i have which has gotten me through the tribulations life has set on my stoop. Yet growing up in the "hood" can either make you or break you......Some people are proud of it and others are ashamed and disclaim it.

_ The hood was vital in the foundation of my upbringing. Being raised in another place would have definitely altered my perception on life and people that live in urbanized communties. I feed off of the society i am around, i use it to my advantage and strive to become better and excel in my field of work to help those who do not have that drive within them to find it.
_ We say its time for change but it starts from within. That goes for everything...if you are not willing to change for the better of oneself then how are you going to expect the society to change......I mean you are apart of it duh.....
_ It just does not make no sense......why is it that ones own social status is of great importance? It has been implemented on us from birth. We were all born into a class.....okay let me not go off on a tangent.....

_chyll
_confused about others perceptions
_till next time<3

_miss him

_ so I miss him. his laughter his smile and his sarcasm....I miss it all... We live so close yet we are so far apart. BUT BESTY I LOVE YOU>>>>>>>>>>>>>ODDDDDDD>.............I remember back to july 4th when we first like chylled and i braided that soft ass hair of yours.... my whole fams was there...it was carazie....I was so scared like what the fuk did i get myself into "i do not know this kid" but through out the years you turned out to be more than just a friend.....you became my bestfriend.....WEll godforbid I talk about any boys or sex or girls with you......Oh you woulda cursed the shyt outta me but after a while you got used to it and realized what the fuk was wrong with you.
_ Flippy is always willing to show me the world.... take me out to eat and tell me about these dumb ass bytches that wear timbs that he likes....ughhhhzzz (pissin me off).
_ I love him though. He needs to cum visit me up at my school.

_I miss him. I just do.

_chyll I aint soft just lovin.

_spoke

_past?

_sammi is doing my hair and its 4 in da morning.......have a game tomorrow gotta look cute right lol.

_anywho question of the night before hitting the sack would be.....What to do when someone who you talked to in the past sparks up new flames in your life? How are you going to forget about past emotions and help build on what is new? Im confused.

_chu chu your sumthing else man.

_going to bed

quote of the month:
" Im tired of lending my heart to a hand filled with fire"

_Consistency stronger than Change

_this weekend by far has been one of the good ones. From goofin around on friday to parties on saturday to jam cooking dinner for us on sunday....I would say my weekend was well spent.

_Back in highschool the atmosphere was so different. Yet a group of us stood out of the crowd. The group of us that dressed different and was not afraid to speak with their clothes. That was us. We were a tight niche group that did not allow fake people amongst us and when we sensed it we called it out. From lunch room days where you would have the flyest outfit on and you would cut class just to walk in to show off what you were wearing, to the days where everyone had to go to work and we all took the train on the manhattan side and waved to jam as she solemnly went to green acres to work at oldnavy.(lol)

_I remember the good ol' times where we dealt with boyfriends or as me and jam would call them shawty'z(boys you talk to not your bf). It was weird yet time consuming and enticing. However, the day graduation came was the day that we parted and went our own seperate ways. We all went to different colleges and some of us just got a high school diploma. Never in a million years would we have thought we weren't going to act the same towards one another after a year of college.

_ Jam and I went to the same school were roommates and managed not to hate one another after dorming with each other. We grew a close bond and became more than just close friends we became bestfriends. Yet when we got back to the hood nothing was the same everything changed. As me and her grew closer the other two friends that were lke sisters grew farther apart to the point where all we had was eachother. We knew that no matter what happened we will always be here for one another and it remains that way.

_It hurts to know that loyalty honesty and friendship can go down the drain in just a matter of months.

_ It hurts but fuk it... ALL we have is us.=)

_distraught

jeesh where to start off....

After a long day of thinking and emotionally feeling distraught about alot of situations that are occuring to me that I have no control over i wonder wtf else is there to do, to think, to say ? I have grown and yes I have changed. I am no longer the child that over exceeds her feelings and emotions towards things which affect her relationships with others. I know longer am so judgmental about others nor do I waist my time and energy on negativity. I want to live. I want to be able to miss who I want and talk to who I please. I want to experience the unusual because the usual is so common.

Most importantly I want to love. I want to love unconditionally giving that other person a sense of relief. I want to emerge my self in their emotion. Feel what they feel.

Who gives a fuck about what happened in the past. Of course the past molds people into who they are in the present. It gives people reason to change from what they used to be but what people should not do is hold that against others changing. It's unfair. I am one of them. '

Yes I have fucked up. But everybody fuks up.

Shyt happens. Yet life moves on.

sidebar:love u jam....ur like the sneakers on my feet.....(think bout it)<<3

_chyll

_Not a bird nor a Plane

_what to feel ?what to say ?when you do not know what your heart wants your future to behold. Im so confused. I do not know whether or not i want to stay at this school and graduate from here. It's like damn my friends ....but at the end of the day i gotta do wat i have to do for myself you know.

_ What is love? who knows? everyone has their own definition but its like when do you come to a point in your life when you feel like it is real? when out of all those broken hearts you have encountered this person that has came into your life is being real and you open up. Well at least you try to open up but your mentality is telling you not to because of what you have felt. Yet the purity of your heart is letting go all of its truth and honesty. What to do?

_what is right for me? How can i figure tht out? idk. Living for the moment is what i have been doing because that is all i know. I do not know whether or not I will be here tomorrow so why not do everything today. See i think as a society we are too dependable on the tomorrow with out focusing on what is going on today whcih forces us not get things accomplished.

_ life is golden only when we live it to its potential

_chyll confused.

_People.Life.Friends

People change.

Life moves on.

People dwell.

Life doesn't give two shyts.

People cry.

Life doesn't even blink twice.

Why?

People who have been following know i have been emotionally distressed for quite some time. From friends saying unexpected shyt to my teammates and regular girl drama. I have been hanging in there though just figuring out emotions and how to deal with everyday life bullshyt. From my previous blogs i was questioning my friends and there friendship towards me; and the more i got to thinking the more i came to the realization that only true friends will let you hear things that may not be so amusing at first and can hurt at times but if they are true they really do not mean it in that way. It took me almost two weeks to realize that. Although i was hurt, i was able to see the positives and hold out on my initial reactions without thinking because i truly care.

They say your college friends are the friends that will be there for a lifetime;they didn't say it was going to come with a hard ache....lol....

I guess you just have to let shyt flow riight?

Feeling better than these past couple of days!!!!!!

Stay tuned for everyday bullshyt<3

_chyLL

_dis weekend!

_what to think off this weekend. Well for one on saturday, I had two games @ cobleskill, one against kings college and another against cobleskill. We lost against kings college and won against cobleskill. I was ma hype throughout the games I started the second game and was a consistent player through out the game. I even saw someone who had went to my highschool. I had a good time.....very confident in my game and couldnt no one tell me anything. Later on that night, my homies from CT came through and we had od fun. Like they were just mad chyll. We all was driddy me and jam were od od driddy just jokin and dancin around like fools. I enjoyed myself. Besides niggas throwin up on themselves and people loosin their shyt we all had a pretty gud time. We just stood in the house and was just chylln. Not to mention that I love my wife jam.....we just know eachoter so well with out talkin we know the deal...ha.

_Anywho this weekend was a college weekend goin dwn in the bookz.

_finish writing in the blog later gotta go back to hw

_chyll!!!!!!!

_done wit it!!!

_friends?

_ Just when you thought things were going good. So now "im fuckin any random dude i just fucking met" shows what respect you have for me as your friend! Im done trying to laugh at everything brushing shyt off in general. I'm done. I know my self better than anyone knows me so do not tell me that "I must not know who I am when I am drunk". Who the fuck are you? The problem here is that people focus too much on others that they fail to realize different aspects of themselves are awkward for people around them.

_Living with people I just met last year does not seem as bad as i thought it was but its cool. It hurts. Now i know just a tad bit on how Jam and tay felt when we had a discussion and a meeting on how we felt they were acting towards us.(doesnt feel too well)

_go ahead and talk shyt about me if ya want! FUK IT

_Studying emotion and body language as a form of expression towards ones feelings in regards to something else has been my strongest point of study in life. I saw that tonight. I see it alot......idk how to feel right now.

Like Lauryn Hill said "when we submit our will to someone elses opinion apart of us dies"

_consider it dead<3

.....not in the right state of mind<3

Lemme rock!!

_stay tuned for everyday bullshyt(more to come)

_chyll

_piSSed oFF

_ So i mean I just got back from my game and im not in a good. My team is not a team which hurts us on the court. There are some of us who want this more than others and then there are some of us who are just playing for ourselves. Back in highschool while under the wing off my basketball coach and volleyball coach i learned how important a team was. How even though the team may have been facing a better team how well they played and came together and won the game, the match whatever it was.

_It's hard to say this but im tired of this team. Tired of the drama and the gossip. I just want to volley a ball across the net with out cat fights. When things of this sort occur you usually say to keep it off the court. However, what your heart feels will spill out even if you do not want it too and that showed today on the court. Failure of communication on the court killed us and im walking with my head down.......far down.

I just want to play volleyball<3

stay tuned for the bullshyt.

_chyll<3

Wdf is on Tv ? !

Okay so me and my wifee Jam (call her wifee cuz we've been best friends for about 6 years) But anyways.
We're sittn here watchin MTV & Paris Hilton new show "My New BFF" is on. Shit is odee funny and stoopid at the sametime. When she eliminates one of the chicks instead of sayin TTYL the bitch says TTYN.... "Talk To You NEVER". Me n Jam are over here rollin. LOL. Dass funny. Dass my new shit now.

Now Fat Man Scoop and his wife got they own show called "Man & Wife". And its my first time watchin this shit. They basically talkin about Sex and shit. It seems pretty funny. Someone asked em if its important to talk about how many people you're man or girl has slept with. and the response was No. We dont discuss da past. Its what we're bringin now. Ha! Stop playinnn... Lets see what i get out of this tho.

Side barz:
i spoke to my island today <3>

_Chyll

_my island<3

_So where do i begin. I have been through some shyt in my lifetime as far as relationships have gone. I am not as open with others which affects the purity in the relationship i have with my significant other. I am afraid to be alone. My insecurities of not having that person to talk to restricts me to certain things.

_ Getting involved with people and starting over is a huge step for me. ughz. It's just irritating when you are with someone for three years on and off and then you think that your going to be with that person for a while but then...its over. How do you start over?? It is not that fucking easy. However, everything happenz for a reason.

_Meeting someone at a club isn't really something you pursue. It's usually a one time thing and thats it. The next morning you wake up and talk with your gurls on how cute the guy you were dancing with was. Chances are you guys exchanged numbers but nothing really goes on from there.....but some situations are different=)

_Hoping for the best!

_Just got off the phone with island......11am class in a couple of hrz

_Stay tuned for everday day shyt

<3chyll

_these people called friends

_chyll. I told you i was not going to write in this everyday but I have some shyt to get off my chest. What are friends? What is their role suppose to be in your life? No one knows because things are different now-a-days. However, as time goes on you learn how to pick and choose your friends and those who are really there for you are the ones that usually stick around. Like the bother of a group of friends I have. Ughzzzz. Where do I begin? Well my friends at school are just DIFFERENT. Meeting them my freshman year and gettin as close as we are now has been a big part of my life. Where do I begin...?



_Well we have Queen B (Esther) who is the mother of all of us. She speaks her mind even when it is not neccesary. Just her being herself is a joke; but you know when to take her serious. When you first read her name you would think that she is Asian c'mon lets be serious her last name is FAN FAN(lol). She is haitian which is funny when sayin jokes in the crib because when something out of the ordinary happens we say "See thats, that haitian shyt"lol. <3>
_ Then we have my roommate, mind you I have a single (Shabori). She is clearly the baby in the house.She plays basketball and is a very social person. Social in the sense where she knows almost everyone on campus; however her being so social can get annoying. She screams your name every hour on the hour and she visits everyone every night before going to bed, then she comes back to my room. Oh I almost forgot my other roommate HER BOYFRIEND.(smh jerk)You got to love her though<3
_Now its pretty lil ham(sammi). She is a very shy, nice and helpful person. She enjoys doing hair and can be sassy at times. She is the smallest of all our friends and still gets fly with childrens clothes and the kids section in H&M....Stop Playiiiinnnn. She hooks a sister up when it comes to shyt that I do not understand or need.<3
_Now we have White gurl with a big booty (steph). She knows what to say and when to say it. She is not afraid to say what she has to say which is good in our friendship. She gives the most hugs in our house and is very adorable. What is funny is that she is the only white girl in the house of all black people and we ask her like what do people say about that like " what makes steph so cool?"(lol) "How did she fit in like what the fuck?" Steph plays softball is the shyt at it she is fuckin nice. I mean she is the captain now and all. <3
_Then there is Long ass (Tay). She is long. Everything about her is long her arms her ass her hands (if you know what I mean) her legs and even her head. She is Tay she is a germ freak and cleans everything before she does anything with it. She enjoys shopping with out really shopping for shit (insider) and she surprisingly comes back with shit for everyone. At times we may feel as though she is selfish but hey people are just used to different things. She is an emotional person and you have to watch what you say around her which sometimes forces us to say shit behind her back. I mean we love her tho... well i do she always has something that I do not and I can count on her to listen to my stories when no one else does.....(FAN FAN) lol. Tay is my doctor in the house she takes care of my ass.<3

_Jam your shyt coming soon!
_Stay tuned for the bullshyt

_chyll<3>

_in depth

_So its me Tash...Perfect....chyll...rude...what ever you want to call me. I am a pretty easy going person and I absolutely enjoy having fun...let me repeat I can make a party poppin. I do not like dealing with bullshit, dishing out bullshit or listening to bullshit so do not be about bullshit and your good to go. I have lived in Brooklyn, New York all 18 yrs of my life which has been and still is an interesting experience. From fist fights to crowd hypes. From make ups to breakups. From the Projects to the suburbs. I been through it all.

_How people percieve me as an individual is very important to me; I say this because it is bullshit when people say " I do not care what people think of me" pure bullshit all over there lips. People do care, they care wether they want to or not it is basic human nature. Read up on Freud if you do not believe me.(stay tuned for Freud )

_ One thing everyone knows about me is that I keep it real. I do not sugar code anything even if it hurts because thats just me...ya dig. I keep people around me who are about there business and know how to have a good time. Although i may come off as having a hard attitude at first I am a pretty nice, emotional, lovable person. I am always willing to make someone laugh wether they want to or not.

_One thing my friends know is that I will always be here for them no matter what happenz...Love u Guyz we go through it but fuk it

"WE CAN HAVE WATEVER WE LIKE "

_Stay tuned for everyday bullshit
_chyll<3