nutty

back and blogging in full effect......

wassup blog world how ya doin ???

Im sittin here loungin drinkin a nutty and chylln in da crib !!!!

thinkin why niggas think they wont be seen again after their coward move !!!


Im back and in da mood to blog about every and every thing !!!

LOVE?KNOCKDOWN

Relationships suck!!!!!!!!!!

dass why I am still single <3

chyll spoke

_Neglection= Transition

_ I am back and bloggin in full effect...

Recent Activity:

-Webster Hall (Ladies Night Thursday)
-BBQ'z
- 40 ounce bounce joint
- City Surfin for new spots ( keep you posted)


.......My transition into the city life hasn't been a smooth yet im working on it dats why I hvnt had time to blog (job surfin as well)


Chyll Spoke

_WTF!!!!!!!

_ I havn't blogged in like a million years however do not let that discourage you from following my posts!!!!!!!!!


I soon will continue my blogs however I been hella busy with school. It's cramming week and that's nothing to play with !


Brb got class @ 3:30 and Im doing an essay that was due 3 weeks ago lmao.....

The life of a COllege Student!!!!!!!!!!



_chyll spoke again
_stay tuned shyt will always go down!

_and so all I can say is....

_what is reality if we dnt no the real from the fake?

_who are you my friend?

_just a thought


wish my homies were cuming up this weekend for real for real !!!!!!!!!!!

_VAGINA POWER

_Brought to you by Moses

Where was I again?

_finishing up my scholarship papers today and sending them out tomorrow morning....Im excited about that!!!

Where was I again?
_Current News:
1) Restaurant : Eks Williamsburg, NY serving Frozen Yogurt
(Pinkberry may have some competiton)
2)Restaurant: Amarin Cafe WIlliamsburg, NY serving Thai Food
(sounds like I will be paying a visit to similar foods I had in China)
3)Shows: Mary Poppins
(hoping to see this soon; summer time maybe)


_back to finishing up work!!
_catch you guys later
_chyll spoke
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_what to say

_as jammi would say twitter these nuts lol....dnt get twitter not bashing it or anything but its cool I guess........

_class was intellectual today got one more at 5 we will see where that leads me!!!!


"he misses my eyes" she says.


_getting things done
_alot to do: fill out scholarships, papers due tomorrow,group meetings!

_chyll spoke
_stay tuned something will always go down<3

_and reality hits tonight

_ as much as I have been brushing off the issue of me being sick and not taking any medication things are getting worst. Lets just say I have a bestfriend that loves me and what he told me tonight I will tak to my grave and will show him the same emotion back when he needs me!!!

_He says he loves me and I'm his bestfriend and an important factor in his life he doesn't need any bad news right now so on that note he wants my ass to go home 0_o.

Im scared.my immune system suckz.

_getting in the shower finished my homework faithful to blogging
_I blog because I feel like it.

_CHyll has spoke
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down
_2:25am

love u flip<3

_Blah

_feeling like shyt right now I keep waking up in increments with my head pounding I wanna go home I need some kind of medication......ughz. This jetlag is not doing me too well either...Im in desperate need of sleeping pills.

_trynna go back to bed gnite...or shall I say goodnorning...
_in need of some good good loving (who wants to take care of me???)

_stay tuned some shyt will always go down
_chyll spoke
_6:07am

_WELCOME HOME

_So it was quite the adventure coming home but I made it to chicago then to albany and now Im here blogging to you all....China time got me all fuked up so does the runny faucet of a nose I'm dealing with.

_time to try and go to ed got class in the am ...that is 10 am but gotta be up handling some business before!!!!!!!!!

_goodnight guys<3
_4:13am in the U.S
_Stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_exhausted.fun filled days

_ S0 I havn't blogged in a while sorry about that, I was in da midst of traveling again away from the culture shock of a city that Xi'an introduced to me to the beautiful city of Shanghai that reminds me of TIMES SQUARE except they have a whole bunh of sky scrapers. For one because china is so over populated and the onechild policy is taking into affect most of the buildings have to go vertical instead of horizontal. In the city of shanghai we see this idea of tall buildings growing rapidly. In this city they have he second most tallest building in the world which is 101 stories high. Amazing.

_ We are staying at a 5 star hotel...hahahahah...amazing. SInce I havn't blogged in a while let me recap to you all the nights I didnt blog. We all went to the club with my professor...it was too funny.....Surprisingly there was nothing but english music playing. Once I walked in I grabbed a seat and they started playing OBAMA "Yes we can"by W.I.L.L.I.A.M. Yes the Obama effect is over here as well. =) But besides that I met some wonderful chinese students who happened to be on the dance floor. It is now a proven fact that it doesn't matter where I go I am still going to have a good time if it involves music. I started dancing by myself in the V.I.P lounge then when we all went downstairs to the dance floor I met the students they were so cool. I now became the foreigner and it didnt feel bad. I met these boys named Vincent, Jeffery, Nick and Matthew and they all were fly looked like they were from the States. (pictures soon come) I spent the whole night talking to them and I was just so excited that I was able to make international friends.

_Flight to shanghai was delayed but we made it and as soon as we landed we had to rush to SIFT (Shanghai International School For Trade) and we were greeted by professors and other professionals as well as students who were so excited to talk to you and practice their EnGLIsh. They held a show or us which was very entertaining and allowed me to view the different clubs that they had to offer and what they were good at. I was so excited to meet new people. I participated in a chopsticks race alongside Sofia who is now my new friend who had to use her left hand to pick up the peanut we both had to transfer to another bowl. It was a wonderful experience, although we didnt win=/. The bright side is I was excited to exchange information with her =) She was so innocent she was excited and told me she was so happy that I was so open with her and was excited to meet her too. By the end of the night we were teaching eachother about our languages and ethnicities. Lets just say she was running around saying Mi nombre es U Jo ( i think that is how you spell her chinese name) However, the experience was wonderful. I enjoyed myself.

_As far as today we did alot to even mention. We went to Shanghai's gardenwhich was located near their French Concession which has alot of areas you can shop in. I bought myself and others some gifts(I was a bit excited about that). Because Shanghai has a history of only 200 years it is a bit more urbanized than most of the other provinces and towns in China. We then made our way to an exhibit that showed how Shanghai will look in the future (10 years) which was very precise and detailed about how eco friendly they want to continue their enviornment to be. We had chinese food for lunch and dinner. Then we saw an acrobatic show.And now I am here blogging to you all tired as shit.

_I will put pictures up tomorrow=)

_chyll is speaking

_stay tuned something will always go down

_10:54pm

_=/

_ In such a culture shock right now....Xi'an is such a different culture than that of the chinese people in Bejing. Just got here today and my cheeks broke out into a rash....=/ Im not feeling it right now. Interestingly enough they have so much air pollution that it lookas like New York on its foggiest days every day!....crazy right. I didn't want to pull my camera out I was just so in shock. We walked north from the hotel just a block and turned around and made a right. Across the street from the hotel we found a lil boutique with the cutest clothes in it so I bought a cardigan and a cute vintagy green sweater with pearls.

_Don't feel like bloggin any more my body is itchy.

_ By the way the structure of the city is nice on the other hand...lol...despite all of the odds. I saw their version of the great wall which protected their city from enemies which was their main goal back when the different dynasties began.

_Where you at??? Nex Stop: Xian

JUST A FEW PICS FROM

THIS WEEKEND...

ON MY WAY TO XIAN!!!!!!!!!!

Pearl Factory....She asked how many pearls we thought was in the oyster before she opened it...everyone aimed low..I said twenty and won a fresh water pearl.!!!!!!!

Eating at a women's house who served us lunch!

strawberries covered in sugar to preserve them!!!
About to climb THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA!!
_ The great wall of china I was dead ass scared to do it but I did and it was the best experience of a lifetime....I couldn't go to china and say I climbed the wall half way lol....

_any who the hotel is about to cut off the internet...lol got to go.....wanted to post more pics but can't will do it when I am in Xian.......

_chyll is speaking from china

_stay tuned some shyt will always go down.

_10:50am

_The Great Wall/Peaking Duck Dinner

_ Wow and so The Great Wall was amazing!!!!!! I was scared at first to go all the way up. Shyt my asthma was acting up and my fly ass ran upstairs before going any where in the morning to get my inhaler and saw my shades and ran out thinking I had my inhaler...psssshhh silly me...

_Any who funniest shyt ever I called my crib @ 8am here and it was 8 pm back home.....My whole family was at my grandma's house and they all was like Hola! Ni Hao!!! wat kind of mixture is that I was weak....My moms is so silly telling me she feels neglected (lol)

_ Back to the great wall...How many people can say they climbed THE GREAT WALL????????? Not many people....the textbooks back at home aint shyt compared to when you see it in person. So many people were climbing it which caused me to be even more timid of climbing because our lives were basically in each others hands. If one person fell it would be like a DOMINO EFFECT everyone was going down...lmao The funny part about it was that at one point we thought we had made it to the top and we were all happy it was windy as shyt.....but we felt accomplished until we realized that there was a shyt load left. Because of the incline and the steepness it felt like forever but it really wasn't that bad. Fuck Volleyball workout now....my legs are cut. It's going to feel great when I wake up tomorrow morning on these hard ass beds and realize i only can wiggle my toes and if that. Lol...oh yeah let me not forget....JAMMMI IM WEAK RIGHT NOW WRITING THIS>>>>LMFAO.........TAY WORE SHOES TO CLIMB THE GREAT WALL..........LMFAO LMFAO

_ It seems as though our lunch is always better than our dinners though. We had lunch at a restaurant that was upstairs from a enamel place where they hand made vases and other fancy souvenirs. We actually got to watch them as they worked making those which takes alot of patience and precision but they mastered it. It actually looked like a sweat shop to tell you the truth....it was a bit scary but Peaking Duck wrapped in what they called a pancake but for us it would be a tortilla which was pretty good not that bad. However, everyone around the table was so disappointed and I was weak...I was weak (laughing for the most part) because from an outsider looking in my whole guard went down when I stepped in china and saw the first chinese person however for some of my fellow peers they were so americanized that for these past couple of days that it is a bit embarrassing.

_post pictures later bout to go explore the city for the last day TOMORROW WE DEPART TO XIAN.......EXCITED ABOUT THAT BECAUSE THAT IS WEAR THE SOILERS WERE!!!!!!!!!!

_chyll is speaking

_9:57pm

_stay tuned im in china

_Tiananmen Square/Forbidden City/Chopsticks

_ Today was filled with adventure and unexpected novelty. As immigrants in another country I was expected to be treated less then their own, however they seem to LOVE US!!!! They like people of color better than they do others because they barely get to see people of color so when they do it is so fascinating to them. While visiting and touring Tiananmen Square which is about the size of 60 soccer fields we encountered a huge group of Chinese people who rushed us with their language and the little bit of english they knew to take pictures with them. They were excited and the joy in their faces said it all.

_While in the Forbidden City which got its name\back when it was created in 1420; the local people were not allowed to enter because this is where the emperor lived, I was amazed at the many different buildings/ monuments there were. Each building had its significance, and you were able to tell this by the amount of figures/animals there were in the corners the more animals the more important the building was and the less figures it had the less important it was.

_ CHINESE PEOPLE LIKE EVERYTHING EVEN. If one side is red the other side has to be red too. This is my kind of people. I need everything in my life to be even. I was thinking maybe I am suppose to be chinese(lol). I have the eyes for it...(lol).

_ I took lots of pictures. I realized that by the end of the day I was probably a bit of a creeper. I took pictures of people and they didn't even know it. As we were walking we realized that Chinese people enjoy their high boots with tights and shorts. Their coats were really cute and THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVE PUTTING UP THE PEACE SIGN. That is pretty cool out here too them. I also realized that they enjo interior designing their cars with different prints which was kind of an entertainment for me while I was on the tour bus.

_ONE IMPORTANT FACTOR I REALIZED

IS THAT THE CHINESE ARE VERY DIFFERENT FROM

AMERICAN CHINESE PEOPLE....

THEY ARE FRIENDLIER AND ARE

EXCITED TO SEE YOU AND

WANT TO TAKE PICTURES WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

_While waiting for Tay to come out the bathroom this lady was so shocked to see me to the point where she changed her mind and didn't pee......SHE CAME AND SAT NEXT TO ME!!!!! She began to start talking in her native tongue and I was trying to figure out what she was saying when she realized I wasn't comprehending she started laughing...I turned around then this lad hits me harder then I expected on the arm to get my attention and points to the palm of her hand(lol) now you know I started going cross eyed cause Im thinking she talking about my skin complexion....Come to find out she was asking me where am I from??????(lol).

_chyll is speaking from CHINA
_3-13-09
_9:25pm

_=/

_ Well its 11:10 pm right now..... A lil upset it costs 12 dollars of internet a day at this hotel....ughz....maybe the next hotel it will be FREE or cheaper.....Im going to still try my hardest to BLOG to you ALL<3

_going to hang out
_hit you all up later
_chyll spoke
_11:10pm

_喂

_Ni Hao AMERICA

_So I am blogging to you all from the other side of the world and although you all may be sleeping, I'm still going to keep you informed as to what is happening and what I am doing on a everyday basis. I'm so excited. After an extraneous flight that I almost threw up on I realized when arriving at the WORLDS BIGGEST AIRPORT that it was worth the wait. Tay, Marv and I (friends on the trip) were all sitting next to one another in the middle of UA897....Thank Goodness for that because it would of been uncomfortable sitting next to strange people. It's definitely ten minutes to 6 pm over here and its probably 6 am or maybe even 5am over there. I don't know how to figure that out yet. Trooping it 6am this morning to Albany to catch our flight to Washington was an interesting trip as well. The plane we got on first off was some real crazy off of a movie type nonsense. It was a JET. As we all know to board a plane there is an extension from the gate to the plane. However, this plane we had to walk outside onto the pavement then leave our carry on bag outside and then enter the jet. Now, I don't know about you guys but I am claustrophobic so when I entered I was all breathing heavy but I calmed down a bit when I realized that I was sitting by myself. The funny Part is I am afraid of HEIGHTS, making this trip even more of a challenge. Not only am I overcoming personal fear, I am also over coming the fear of being cuturally challenged.

Departure=FRIENDS

_With all of our friends breaking night with us helping us not forget nothing ,was the best part. This is the very first time that me and my bestfriend are apart from eachother for this long' especially during spring break. I miss you dearly Jammi I really do (tearing up like a sucker). Thank you guys for staying up with us I appreaciate it. I got to go get ready now for a 7pm dinner.

AT THE AGE OF 19 I am in china

Looking at how our recession is affecting

their economy in China!!!

Not many people can say that.

_in china

_chyll is still speaking

_3-13-09

_Download by Lil Kim ft T-pain

Download - Lil Kim Ft. T-Pain

Tell me this shyt aint hard.....

Shawdy i been lookin at these pictures of you........

_GrateFuL

_This weekend I went to BOSTON " BeanTown" with Jammi ;we had a pretty good time went shopping on newbury st and realized that its just like our broadway in SoHo. Visited Karma Loop Johnny Cupcake and other stores...got jammi hooked on Mac Lip glass....lol even tho she will deny it...its the truth she got Lip Glass Chai and I already had Lust=).

_We shopped.I was aggravated.had a headache.hungry.ate @ a cafe.chicken wrap saved me. so did txtn. tay went into every store (as usual).weak was the word for the weekend.jammi'z nose hoop with screams came cute.enjoyed our stay.

_12:00 pm our train to pittsfield arrived at the station. we thought it was going to be a smooth ride.=/. Lets just say two hours later @ 2pm the train derailed woke us four (tay and esther was there) out of our sleep and I was confused. When I realized what was going on, I started to panic.hyperventilating needmy pump not having it. The train derailed to the left, leaving us a bit off of the cliff. We were in the middle of the mountains, the woods were to the right of us and a steep hill with a flowing river was too the left of us. I didnt stand up @ all until it was time to get off the train and when I did try I was literally in a huge slant; not standing up straight was a carazie feeling. By 6 pm we finally got off the train and into a bus that drove up on the side.then we switched into another bus (peter pan) waited for another two hours until departure from the site. took about an hr and a half to get to Pittsfield station. Finally, we arrived and our holy church friend Jess came to our rescue....=/

(sent pic from my phone..yahoo actin carazie)

_God was definitely on our side. This is something you had to be there too witness.

_grateful to be here
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_Pssh!!!!!!

_So im addicted to Pssh. I don't why but its apart of me. pssh!!!! That and !!!!! (exclamation points)

_so what if I express myself threw sound affects somethings just don't deserve words<3

_homewerk for this week and the next!!!

_CHINA SOON COME

_chyll spoke<3
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down!

_P.S: Jam just deteriorated my nostrils smh.

_im out!!!!!!

_Amber Rose

_So Im up fussing with the thought of a cinnabon (lol) just cause im up at the wrong time at night and im hungry. I havn't blogged in a while because I was at a lost of words for some time, but im back and ready to fight (lmfao). Today hit meh that china is just around the corner and im SCARED HAAAAAAAAA......

Back to regular programmin...

Update:
My mother is fine
Went home and celebrated with her
Lost cam at the CLub
Getting a cam this week
Goin to boston this weekend


_chyll SpoKe
_its a lil nibbly out here who wants to cuddle?
_scruffy look is right on point.....
_stay tuned suntin will always go down!

Amber Rose=Different Look fits what he is trying to portray right now

Now watch everybody go hard for this look....can't wait to see blondy bald headed shaved low cuts in the street this Spring this will be exciting<3

_Dec.4th

"19, but 35 year old soul-- heart of Gold, some say im Bold, but i just like to think im rather Smart, set me apart, becuz this diamond you will never get to flaunt. i am me, but who is SHE? "

Isn't that the truth.damn.life.friends?fake. relate?

Jammi got that one!!<3

dec.4th a star was born.

dec.4th I was born.

Imma prosper while watching all you others mourn

_ChyLL spoke

_Stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_DAMN FOOL

_ So im sitting here with rambling thoughts.the usual.trying to process everything as time passes by and I have realized the beauty in thought and what it can save you from.

_dnt know how to feel right now

_smh.

_out to jam crib.

_wishin i was in new york

_Lol...BIRTHDAY SEX->Jeremiah....song been in my head for a while now

_chyll spoke

_pssssh WHOMP

_Style & Mountains

_ Going to school in the berkshires is hard considering the fact that you are in between two mountains that hover over the school. Shit. it might as well create a shadow.lol. Anywho, its really hard wanting to get dressed in a situation like this just because you really don't feel the need to get dressed some days, well most of the days sooooo... you run out the crib with sweats, a shirt and sometimess (in the winter) you won't even put a coat on just a sweater. And here comes in Jamal. A very spontaneous and open minded individual who can be weird at times but for the most part is the friendliest person on campus.He has the most innocent truth to his conversation it's like you can't even be mad at him most of the time for saying stupid shit that makes you think twice. Jamal comes into the cafe looking straight brooklyn. Seeing him earlier yesterday around noon I really didn't peep his swag as clear as I did when I came from working out later on that night during dinner. Had to give em props.

Check him out

He looked so nice. I had to post about em.lets go mal do your shyt!!!!!!!!

_chyll spoke

_stay tuned something will always go down<3

_mid...afternoon randomness...

_dis shyt shyt makes you wanna have somebody.........


_Drake wats good son!!!!!!!

Drake ft Lloyd ~>A night off
Drake~>Sooner or later

lmfao @ my homie squig video tho......he put me on...

aiight back to my paper!!!!!!

squig!!!! get outta here duke

_he makes me blush<3
_weekend going well
_trip maybe?
_this is carazie
_watz wrong wit em??????

_get outta here duke all up in my aorta.

_chyll spoke
_im out
_we'll see what happens he aint all dat tho

_The Naked Truth by Marvelyn Brown

_Buying a book I need for a course in my Social Work Skills class, I came across this book that caught my eye because of the beautiful black woman on the cover while reading the cover and looking down I realized that she was HIV positive.Yup. HIV POSITIVE.

I have been walking around with this book since last night taking it every where I went because it is a true story. It happened to Marvelyn at the young age of nineteen because she had unprotected sex. I am in total shocked I am hoping to be done with the book by 2am so that I can be able to do jam hair.

ITS ALMOST VDAY.....and I feel I couldnt of picked a better book at such a better time

Then this one.

This book is recent to I mean she graduated highschool at the age of nineteen.

We definitely can relate.

Next book to begin reading that will have me analytically thinking about our AMERICA is....."WHY HIP HOP CAN'T SAVE BLACK AMERICA"

As for now you all should read "THE NAKED TRUTH"

_where u at?

_God where you at when I need an answer. I mean ultimately when I can't find answers to the grief and strife that everyday life brings I call on you to answer my prayers at night. But this time I question you, although I shouldn't why would you deal me this deck of cards? And just when I thought things were safe when things were going good.....I just don't know what to do so I opened up a post and began to write. As humans we look at others and see what they have been through and pray that we don't go through the same shyt but when it happens to you..its surreal. You feel like saying fuk it...why care? Im the way I am because of everything I done been through and I understand that everyone says this but to each its own. Everybody got a story and mine is just beginning to evolve. I haven't been through half the shyt others have so imma take this one to the heart and be stronger than most for her. In life we question everything that occurs and wonder if there really is a you....A GOD....all i can say is if when i die your not there....i won't be upset imma just be glad that the thought of you......of somebody looking over me kept me sane.

_im in pain but fuk it....gotta be strong for her

_I LOVE YOU MOMMY

_stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_chyll spoke tears tonight

_AM BLUES

_ Just woke up ready to start my day off with a bang....Head is spinning. I slept on Akeemy the only man that keeps me warm at night my builld a bear. Getting my passport done today when I come back I will show you guys the finishing product. Out to take a shower!!!!!!

_chyllspoke
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_cant wait for the besty'z boo to come!!!!
_he is a cornball anyway but fuk it

_BIO Crisis!!!

_Someone come save me!!!!!!!!!! I have a BIO exam on wednesday and am trying to start studying for it now!!!!!!!! UGHZ I hate this part of it all. When I have to take courses that do not interest a thing on my body. Ironically enough, I was a pre-med major in high school...I only did that because it was either bio or teaching and I was like fuck it I will just do BIO. Ms.Pents im sorry<3...(lol)..

_Besides doing that I just thought about this weekend as a whole and realized that this weekend by far is going in my book as the most prideful college weekend(lol)...I tell you from blackouts to a cuddle spouse this by far has to be a weekend to tell to our fellow peers.

_SideBar: I feel a way right now...like this is the first time in a long time where I feel as though I dnt need any one. Idk. I have no valentine and don't feel awkward in no way because you know what ...Shyt happenez and I refuse to dwell on shyt. I'm just letting things FLOW!!!!

_Im a snail(lol insider) when it comes to relationships.<3

_Enjoying life as it comes.....

_Chyll spoke
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down

_ China

_ I haven't blogged in a couple of days because I have been bombarded with an extreme work load. And we all know when the weekend comes around Chyll doesn't know how to act (lol) so apologies for that. Now on too the good stuff......How are we internally going to accept certain things if conciously those things that are trying to be accepted will never happen? In other words I recieved this letter in the mail which made me realize how important the feelings and emotions are of other people(to be cont'd). Just made me wonder. So yeah I am going to respond to it

_Now on to the Good NEWZ IM GOING TO CHINA!!!!!!

Im going to China for Spring Break!!!!!!!!!

yay me<3

_chyll spoke gettin readi for tonight

_MUT

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

_Throbbing

_I haven't posted in a while came to the conclusion that around the weekend time posting is at its minimum. Any who here I am now, awake from 3 shots and a drink of that good good stuff and the steelers did win baby. I really had to choose a side tonight, I won't even lie to you guys. I watch sports and love em but I didn't follow football this year. Hearing about the steelers a lot steered me toward them and plus their closer to my home town NEW YORK.

_This weekend I was forced to LIVE the COLLEGE LIFE. Since being in college I have been chylln, meaning going to school, to eat and back to the house. As jammi would say we been playing it safe which isn't a bad thing however, we are single girls that give boys no type of play, es[ecially if we are in a club. That's how its always been. We would talk about the night after a party and say remember this dude, oh no that dude was, nah this dude was, the dude by the stage (lol) but we never ever gave them any type of play. I mean if you aren't friends with us you would think that through party pics we bag (meaning getting contact info) everything in site but realtiy is we don't.

_This weekend there was alot of gossip bullshit,throbbing and bruises going on. I had a really goodnight with my volleyball girls and a goodnight with my hommies.

_Now going back to bed class at 10am blog to you guys around 3pm.

_stay tuned some shyt will always go down<3

_chyll spoke

P.S~~> Never knew how hard it would be trying to talk to someone knew. hope it goes well

hint:(listening to travi freestyles)

_class

_class has ended and there is some kind of hope for me getting out of this computer math class.






sidenote: stomache is not doing well







_Now typing up my poem for class at 3:30 titled :Click!!!!!!<3

CLICK!

It's gone

You've diminshed

Into this colorful array of people

Becoming another blended piece of art

Bread crumbed heart

Falling apart

I begin to

Click!

Clicking till something of interest forces me to end

Yet

You haven't left

The remote stopped working

Once again,

I am stuck on your channel

This time

Bringing clarity to my eyes

I ran to charge the congested remote with power

Negative side here

Positive side there

Click!

The beat of your channel

Shall no longer control the sound of mine

_8am

(last night before my scarf came off)

_ So today I woke up ecstatic ready to go to my 12:30 bum ass math class. My head tie came off so i put the curly iron on to bump my hair. Looked through my closet to pick out randomness to put on and now I am gettin ready for school. I have neglected my blog with no reasoning behind it. I was trying to fix some xml format and when i viewed my profile it was white blank....CRISIS STRUCK....so since then I have not blogged till now sorry about that.

_I'm watching Maury right now and this lady says that she had to get the "father of her son" on television for a DNA TEST to prove to him that he was the father by "selling him some of her coupons"....LMAO.....WTF....Really AMERICA? Ultimately this is a disgrace, makes you question what a genuine, sincere relatonship is. How will you be able to identify if your in one right now or if one is passing you by? With these social concepts of mutual feelings restricting the society to reveal their true selves how am I going to believe the person who is feeding me the same bullshit the other one did?

_ As I said in the beginning of the year, I will go with the flow. If something is suppose to spark it should be through natural conversation. I mean the beauty of a realtionship ultimately is communication right?

_Now im just thinking about passing this bum ass Math class. I tell you if my life depended on it and the only way to survive was throught Math I will meet all ya in heaven.dead ass.lmao

(right now)

_chyll spoke

_stay tuned something will always go down!!!

Day 10

_signing on=/ it better go well. a bit nervous

_ Day 9 (2:32 am) (sign on?)

_im on the verge of signing on.i was just reading this chapter for class tomorrow.while reading I thought of entering the social world again. The creepiness of it all was that right when i thought about doing so....my t.v and light just shut off=/.......Was that a sign? should I take that into consideration ?........I did and so I find my self here again pouring out my emotions onto this screen.

Natural disasters are consistent.
Florida.
Should be my middle.

to be cont'd!!!

Reading: "Need to Know: Social Science Research Methods" by: Lisa J. McIntyre

_Day 7 and Day 8 (recovery period)

_IM DOING WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Day 7~~> My mood was in the midst of crashing because of the bullshit i was being fed through out the whole day. One thing I expect from people is for them to keep their word. Ultimayely in life that is the only thing you have is your word. If you said you are going to text me....text me.If you said you are going to see me..... come see me. Going back on your word is like wanting me to cut you off....Around 11pm my town house deicided to play UNO so I played and began relieving some stress. We ended up going to my homeboys town house to play Taboo this lasted for about FOUR HRs with laughter and natural joy. As the time past people began to leave and those who stayed.....(lol) lets just say we had a good time...Mac&cheese......Fried Porkchops......Grilled Hot Dogs.....Steamed Corn......and a special juice that spoke the truth......Me,Tay and Jammi did not get home until 7am....that's college for you.

_Day8~~> I woke up at 12:30 to go to brunch.Went back to my room and watched TRUE LIFE:Im A Nuyorican which was funny as shyt. Lets just say we get louder and act up when camera's are around(lol). And now im here...blogging to you all.

This weekend by far had to be stress relieving and drama free.....

I have been in hibernation for ten days now but been blogging for about 8 days now

_Day 5 & Day 6 (recovery period)

Day5~~> _ class.lunch with hayley.took a nap.volleyball meeting with coach. one on one meeting after. tears. offered counseling.rejected.concerned.party.drank.still hibernated.about ten people have my new number. feeling better than most nights.relief.

Day6~~>I partied with my girls. This by far had to be the most relieving night since hibernating. We all i had clean fun and went to a party in a sorority house that was themed 80'z. So for those of you who know me on that level know that I am very competitive and I decided to dress the part.What can I say I'm from Brooklyn.....lol. Up until the end of the night I was fine. Out of no where I found myself leaning all the way down wanting a brisk of fresh air and I don't know what that air had inside of it but I began to cry. I Emotionless I was huggin steph,crying.Jam says "tash...wtf dnt let these ni**** see you like this"....Quickly i rose off of steph shoulder and was like fuk em.....lol......I didnt even have a real reason as to what I was crying about but I cried signifying that I am not done. This process is not over. But will be soon.

_Day 4(recovery)

_Just when I thought things were almost in the clear.ready to set foot back in the social life. i took three steps back and ended up almost where I started from. Okay a bit of exaggeration, however I wasn't my usual self today. I was introverted and had a major headache causing me too snap on others. Whose to say im safe from anything? even from myself.
_I wanna sit here and blog to you all and say im good but I will be fibbing if I did. Im an emotional wreck. Although, I felt just last night that my recovery period was actually working today I awoke with a sharp pain in the middle of my head and a stiff ankle. As the day progressed I thought about the first night I decided to hibernate and how my emotions took a toll on my body leaving me helpless in thought and strength.

_As i write to you all right now...I'm eating mac and cheese...=) brought a bit of a smile to my face. I know this is apart of the process so I'm just going to take each day as it comes. Im in a battle with myself in the hopes of healing what needs to be mended.

_No facebook

_No myspace

_No aim

_stay tuned something will always go down

_chyll spoke<3

_Day 3 (recovery period)

(picture #3 of recovery period)
_ Although I have been hibernating since saturday night, making today the fifth day that I am socially inept from others, I feel as though it has been weeks since I contacted my internet buddies. What great relief right??? Tom(myspace) should be questioning me right now?(lol) He should be emailing me asking why havn't I supported his funds (as you all know everytime we sign on to myspace he gets paid). I don't know but I feel this sense of rejuvenation covering me, allowing me to see things that I normally would have paid little attention too and also enabling me to grasp this idea of life that we all take for granted.

(pic 3a)
_As of right now I'm currently running on barely two hours of sleep. It's amazing how I grew close to her. I stayed up. She needed me. Her tears were solemnly grabbing on to my heart making me feel her pain, and so I stayed. Support is what she needs for a very long time and thats all we can do as her friend is hold her up when she is at her lowest point. Her boyfriend dumped a 2 1/2 year relationship down the drain. What a jerk? And as I have stated before I repeated last night "trust me you will be fine, god wouldn't put anything in your path he thought you wouldn't be able to handle" and she nodded her head as tears fell down her eyes in shame.

(pic 3b)
_Now apart of my recovering process will be helping her cope with what is now her reality and focusing on her emotions. This action will allow me to learn how to cope with my emotions.

We are in this together<3
_until next time
_stay tuned some shyt will always go down
_chyll spoke!

_Day 2 (recovery)

_ I said I would post before 12am but I got caught running to TH 29 to chyll and get my mind off of school work. Waking up today was historic in itself. urinated.washed my face. brushed my teeth and had a slick back ponytail. wiped the crust out my eye and said "A BLACK PRESIDENT nah no way". I retraced the thoughts racing through my mind on November 4th when watching CNN folding my clean clothes. I looked up and it stated Barack Obama is the President Elect of the U.S.A and as I sat on my bed that night, in mere shock the tears rolled down my eyes. I thanked god to be alive.
_When I awoke i felt refreshed and ready for my day. Despite the fact that last night ...well you can say this morning "the voice message boy"(refer back to previous blog) has the audacity to call me and argue...Me being who I am I hung up and slept on the thoughts of me violating him (lol)...any who back to regular programming...where was I.....oh okay so as the day progressed and I watched the inauguration I gradually became sleepy so to stay up I started roasting the government officials who were at the ceremony....especially the reverend who last spoke .... for those of you who saw HAPPY FEET....tell me he didnt look like THE LOVE GURU....forgive me lord.....somethings are just meant to say.
_Update on my hibernation!!!!!! I have yet to sign on to anything yet since saturday night and it feels amazing. No social cyber interaction besides blogging and MiLLz hacking into my accounts to steal pics that I had last posted on myspace and adding (coughing) friends!!! I so reccomend this to everyone at least try it. See if you have self control!!! and not have any social interaction with others. Also changed #. No restrictions. No more looking at the phone and ignoring the call because some annoying boy who decieved you with his looks and you bagged is calling you just to chat!
_The beauty of it all is that this in itself is helping me grow and recover from all the things that had me at hello (now im beyonce) (lol) anywho back on track.... After watching bad girls club, which by the way is a crazy season this time around....I decided to run over to jammi house and disturb their work force. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I ran in with my coat ,volleyball sockz, boots and some shorts that got drowned by coat!!!!!!
_And now here I am blogging to you all!!!!!

_until next time
_some shyt will always go down
_stay tuned!!!!
_chyll spoke

_Day 1(recovery period)

_And so the struggle to over come my depression is still occuring. It is an illusion to others the jubilance i have coinciding with the faith i am trying to find in myself. I woke up this morning with the same headache and body ache I have had since falling into this state and I began to read up on MLK. Happy Birthday!!!! Talk about a person going through struggles riight??? Along with his struggles he put everyone elses on his back as well without a single complaint. And here I am worried about my lonliness and the safety of the man who had a part in my creation on this earth. Is this a legit feeling? I always view others who are going through these stages in their life and said that "life in itself is beautiful so everything that comes along with it is just extra. God wouldn't put nothing in front of us he thought we would not be able to handle". This gives me hope. Hopes in becoming a better person for myself and others around me.

Day 1 (pic)

_Hibernation

_ I will be hibernating for a period of time to clear my mind of current situations that are going on. I will however still continue to write to you bloggers faithfully and keep you posted on my progress.....stimulating my strength and heart<3

*If you would like to get in contact with me hit me up here or thru email




EMAIL:
tberroa89@yahoo.com
tb2741@mcla.edu

CUT OFF'z:
-Aim
-Facebook
-Myspace
-Changed # if you dnt have it you have been cut off for some time

AS OF TOMORROW MORNING I WILL BE GHOST!!!!!!!!!

_Triple B'z

_ Doing a lil thinking as you guys know always on my chyll mode i came up with this weekend being the most historical weekend of AMERICAN HISTORY named as Triple B'z.


BIGGIE BARACK BROOKLYN
_Notorious B.I.G the most respected rapper in the music industry besides 2pac and some others came out with a movie today highlighting his life for the short period of time he was here. He blessed the industry with his creativity and love for what he did. His music spoke to those who did not have a voice in Brooklyn and soon after for all the neighborhoods of the world that can relate to his struggles. 1-16-09

_ Making History in about four days the United States of America would have their first African American President in office. With wars occuring and the economy crashing Barack Obama has allowed himself to not only tell us what he is going to do but has presented not only the government but the world with his strategic plan and has made us believe that he will in fact in due time change this inconsistent government. However, with all he has to deal with he still worried about the dog he promised his daughters(lol).

_NOW FOR THE FINAL B......BROOKLYN......Brooklyn is more united then what we think it is!!! When you hear a person say their from BROOKLYN you view this sense of assurance and confidence that enables you to feed off of their energy and character allowing you to embrace it. Life isn't easy when raised in the rough streets and projects of BROOKLYN make us who we are. Yesterday made me realize this when I saw this FLEX dance group called MAIN EVENT aka RING MASTERS on ABDC ( a dance comp aired on MTV) I began to believe. Believe even more that people from Brooklyn strive to be the best in everything they do which has been proven.. Main Event went from being in comps on Flex in Brooklyn a show only aired in Brooklyn to being on a show aired all over the world is pretty impressive. With a dance group from Brooklyn being on t.v and The Real World deciding to go to my hometown finally shows that we are getting recognized for the creativity and art that speak to you once you cross over the bridge. From spray painted graffitti on the walls of the street to spanish food on every other block shows you the beauty of BROOKLYN.

The Triple B'z really are inspiring and allow others to enhance their confidence in any aspiring goal that they have.

_Now imma get str8 A'z this semester (lol)
_lovin da art<3 _chyll spoke _until next time

_WHaT a VaCaY 0_o

_VACAY WENT SWELL_

_ This vacay was by far the best vacay I could have asked for. From partying every weekend to seeing people I have not saw in quite some time, really elevated my holiday spirit in general. Being back at school is exciting because of the bafounz I have as friends but reality hits that I have classes to attend to tomorrow. First class was suppose to be at 9:30 however the teacher bailed so I have nothing to do until my 3:30 class. Oh yeah I have to go to career services to get my money riight (that will be a hassle)lol.
_The best day of my vacation had to be the last day. Randomly we all ended up in QUEENs. Jam was gettin her hair cut and I was their because I had spent the night from a party. Sarah was on her way to see jam get her cut and I was sittin on the couch eating crown fried!!!! RING RING Banga calls Yo tash you wanna go to Queens I said im already here she decides she is coming so I call mildred to come through too (no respond). The history that was made in our pasts was never mended so my nerves was a little uneasy when realizing the girls that were coming(karen &sarah) Mildred calls back she is on her way. GOd is good and I say that because he mended all of our harsh feelings that night and made us realize the beauty in true friendship. This realization brought me to the conclusion that all i need is those people who make my life more memorable: MY FRIENDS.

_Changing my number real soon if you do not have it I guess you arent that important=/
_chyllspoke
_life is golden as jammi would say <3>

_Strippers and Sushi

_About to Launch a project for this year......thinkin of a master plan. STay tuned readers it will be coming soon!!!!!!!

_However on a lighter note had od fun with the besty last night solemnly making me realize that having a BoY besTfriiEnd is useful and comes in handy when hiding from disgrace dawgz in the street(lol)

quote of the night" I would not go into a strip club that sells sushi.......why not flip?......Because you wouldnt be able to tell the difference!!!"
=] LMFAO=]

_This is true!!! Flip and I were walkin on a side block in 42nd street and saw a gentelmen's club that served sushi as their specialty....... Now you put one and one together=/ Do you really wanna eat sushi at a strip club? How would you be able to tell the difference between a stripper who smells horribly and a stripper who doesn't if the scent of your breath is FISHY lmfao!!!!

_Had a good time though....saw ROLE MODELS which was a funny ass movie I recommend people to go see that movie<3

_till next time bloggers
_chyll spoke
_luvin da art<3

_Go with the FLOW

_I fought my way into the New Year with a swollen fist and red eyes filled with joy. Since I do not expect anything from any one MY IDEAL 09' year would be to go with the flow. Thats what my motto will be for 09'. Don't over analyze or think too much about what is going to happen or you want to happen because everything will fall into place.

_Last post I was talking about a voicemail that I was timid to respond to because of what that message had in store for the future of my relationship life. As of now the hype of being in a relationship is fading. This is not to say that i do not love him because i do and initially that is why I went off of basic instinct by getting involved but like 09 says "go with the flow" and my flow is not flowing quite right lol if you know what i mean. Let's just say the cab lady hates me!!!! Cingular doesn't agree!!! and the love I have for him still stands!!!!!

_Is this right? I enjoy the laughter of another person' company?Solemnly allowing me to feel? Making me work harder for just wat appeals........

_till next time bloggers...

_chyll spoke

_luvin da art<3